"Shut up! Shut up!"

Kyle Sandilands

If it is one thing Big Brother 2008 must be credited for, it is kicking the Scandal™ in, right away. First, we had the Midget Porn Scandal™; now, we have what will define Big Brother 08, potentially (depending on how large the next Scandals™ are - but it would seem difficult to outdo this one), The Corey Worthington Debacle™. That's probably why you're here, right? So, let's consider the elements, because there's a great deal that is not going to be said, amongst all that is. Two years ago, this site first well and truly landed on the radar, after two boys held down a female housemate, and the whole country exploded. And, just like this situation, I'm going to offer a slightly different - albeit calmer - angle.

Because here's the thing. The discussion, today, in the scuttle round the watercoolers, inevitably comes down to the question, "Is Corey Worthington a bad person or a good kid we should give a chance?" And that's exactly what the show wants, of course, and is betting on to turn this potential disaster into a commercial bonanza. The initial public reaction to Big Brother's decision was negative, to say the least. As they should have expected. But the negativity, last night, was played on - if I do say so, myself - rather beautifully by the show (I'm not saying it will work - but it was, nonetheless, a fairly impressive manipulation from a pretty difficult corner). They actually used that negativity in their favour. We'll see if the plan works, over the coming week.

"A Day dominated by food..."

Mike Goldman

Imagine this. The crew arrive, and spend time making sure the scene is right – the lighting, the audio, the camera angle. Beneath these lights is a hospital bed, and on that bed is Australia’s most controversial “little person”, Rima. She’s had a rather hectic beginning to Big Brother 08, to say the least.

In the past 24 hours, producers and publicity assistants have gone to work. Only hours after Rima had been taken to the hospital, the press had been handed three devised angles. The first buzz-word is “awkward”. Rima fell... “awkwardly”. And where did she fall? “On soft-padding”. That’s very important, for obvious reasons, that the public have it made very clear that Big Brother could certainly not have anticipated a metre-tall midget finding it difficult to compete in the air, on a pole. The third concept is to make sure everyone knows that Rima is just dandy, thanks very much; the phrase chosen is “High spirits”. Mind you, it’s early Saturday morning; we can probably presume that, after the night of treatment that followed, “in a coma” was probably a more accurate description (understandably!).

"Please let this not be continued..."

Fitzy

Not taking anything away from poor Rima; but karma, for Big Brother, is becoming a bit of a bitch. Last night was not a great night for this series, to say the least. Friday Night Live, which I do not blog (really, what can be said about it?) was a disaster. After the burning question of whether BB08 could win back the "smarter" (older, etc) audiences who had started to turn away from the show, the irony is that the season looks set to come undone by (who would have thought?) its core bogan demo turning off in droves. I'd say once that happens, it's all over red-rover for Big Brother. And I don't say that lightly - this show has, in its own way, served me well, after all - but I'm lying if I didn't make the rather glaring observation that Big Brother, at this point of time, is in deep, deep shit.

This first mistake has come in their terrible decision to send in partyboy, Corey Worthington (who, it is now reported, is earning a $20,000 initial fee, plus $10,000 per episode). He has gone in under the rather obvious presumption that the younger audience will relate to Worthington, that the rest will "love to hate" him, and that an avalanche of publicity will ensue. It's also a cross promotion, struck between Big Brother and Worthington's new foray into pop music, covering - wait for this - Beastie Boys' "Fight For Your Right To Party" (see youtube video, here). But it seems they've underestimated their core demographic's love for the little monster, and that almost a year after his infamous party, the "love to hate" has resettled into a more straight-out "hate to hate" dynamic. It's a metaphor, in many ways, of the problems for the show, over all.

The official website offered a poll on the matter: "What do you think of Partyboy Corey entering the BB house?" Almost 90% of its users clicked "unimpressed" (and that's even with the PR team's own attempts to "bump it" in the more positive direction). The next day, the poll had magically vanished. By last night's arrival of FNL, the audience let off a chorus of booing, when Mikey asked them, "What do you think of Corey Worthington going in the house?" He then pleaded with Australia to "give the poor boy a chance... we don't know him". Don't you just love it, when Big Brother points its finger at us, for reacting negatively to its lame-assed cash-ins, sighting, of all things (for a show that cashes in, above all else, on this very nature) our judgemental attitudes?! The crowd felt so strongly, the emotion carried over to the most awkward moment I've seen on live TV, for a very long while. "Are we all fired up for this?" asked Ryan (referring to the following material in the games). The audience hissed and booed, again. When you can't even get a smile from what is basically a rentacrowd, then you're in a spot of trouble, to say the least.

But things got much worse for the show, during the games. Not only did it deliver some of the worst material I think I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing on my LG plasma - material that, again, even the target audience this show is aimed at couldn't find very much to laugh at - the show's core dynamic came tumbling down... literally. After a week of forum speculation about how Big Brother's Star Midget™ would deal with the physical demands of FNL, the questions were answered in the worst possible way. During one of the first games, Rima slipped and fell to the ground, and had to be removed from the night's remaining games. This, as it has now been revealed, is only the beginning of their problems.

This morning, it was announced that Rima has broken her leg (such cruel irony, considering she has fallen to an instance that involves her physical incapacity) and will be removed from the house and show (uh oh, Dixie! Now you're really screwed). The team has made it clear they want her to return (really?! Who would've thought!), but that the show will miss their major attraction, for a minimum of two weeks (probably more), and a press release was left to confess that Rima is yet to make any decision ("we look forward to Rima's decision as to whether she will return to the house", it said, crossing those fingers very, very tightly). There's an obvious question as to why the show did not design its tasks around the fact that their star housemate was unsuitable for most of the physical ativities classically used, or if having this show, at all, was a good idea. Seems they want their cake, and they want to eat it, too. They usually do. And like the naughty little boy who ignores the likelihood of negative consequences from his greediness, they've had the worst possible outcome for the show's general narrative (not to mention a big hit in the guts for the forthcoming Big Mouth, which, presumably, would have been using Rima as the source for much of its discussion). A couple of nights ago, I asked how horrible the show would be without Rima. We're about to find out.

"Ah, she's a little battler," sighed Fitzy.

Ryan, I think you'll find that Rima will not be only one battling in the coming weeks.

"Audacity? What does that mean?"

Renee

Of course, there is another discrimination we have yet to go into (and we’ve seen it on Big Brother, before) that has been simmering, behind more obvious Issues™, and, tonight, came closer to the foreground. In a country with the highest obesity rates in the world, it’s amazing what an accurate sample projection Big Brother gives us – what, with one larger figured woman amongst the thin pretties and buffed men, and all! One wonders if we’ll ever have a narrative that, quite logically, always manifests in this environment, quite like the season where Chrissie reached the apex of her insecurities by having to endure a shower where (through the walls) she could hear the Big Brother crew discussing her “big” figure (niiiiiice). However, whilst it may not come to the foreground to this extreme, this season’s fat-phobia is well and truly going to complicate other aspects (and there are so many) of Dixie’s journey (that will probably become Dixie’s Downfall™); it's going to be a narrative, for a little while longer. And it’s no better or worse than the discrimination and social victimisation of any other social label, so the issue does deserve noting in what is unfolding.

Renee: "Would you have been my friend?"

Saxon: "Yeah, cause you're an Aussie."

Not too long before the 2007 series of Big Brother Australia began, the UK series had a scandal of its own that Australia, still pumped up on the Camillagate outrage, was more than happy to engage. Instead of sexual relations forming the headlines, this time it was racism that had become the hot topic round the watercooler, when foul-mouthed Jade Goody tried to raise her falling profile by entering Celebrity Big Brother, and... well.... not taking too kindly to Indian Bollywood star, Shilpa Shetty. In a heated discussion, Goody called Shetty, "Shilpa Poppadom". And, while it's certainly a comment that is distasteful and, at very least, based in racist undertone, I must concede that the irony could not be missed, when considering the way both English and (albeit to a lesser extent) Australian society reacted. We live in a very racist society - more racist, since 9/11, of course (and when the mindset kicks in, it extends beyond just those singled out for triggering it - it's more than the Muslims who have felt the post 9/11 heat) - and while we very rarely like to explore the racism that runs through our society's veins, here we were happily crucifying a comment as comparitively tame as "Shilpa Poppadom". Don't get me wrong, I'm never against pointing out that using race in moments of aggression, in any way, is wrong, and that, yes, this was a racial reference (which, if it is used negatively, must be a kind of racism). But there's much worse being used as perfectly acceptable humour on every popular America sitcom or crime show. There was obviously something a little less altruistic at play.

GIMMICK

–noun

Last night, Big Brother announced that the Snap Eviction™ was "Not a Trick™... not a Gimmick™". Tonight, we had the first of what is to be called a Housemate Hand-Grenade™ (is that the ghost of Tim Toni, I hear?). It would seem that these, at least, are most certainly to be Gimmicks™, for tonight's advertised faux-eviction was just that – faux. Big Brother's opening ratings have been reasonably poor, to say the least (the worst launch show ratings, ever), and out the window goes all pretences, and out rolls the deceptive advertising that certainly isn't about to let reality get in the way of Reality™.