"Now, you're making me cry."

Rima

A few weeks ago, Kyle Sandilands confirmed the rumours that everybody's favourite "little person", Rima, was not only reluctant to return to the show, but thinking of suing them. Let's just remember that, for a moment, because it stuns me that nowhere did I see anyone mention this rather extreme change in the narrative (even on forum boards). What happened, do you suppose, to go from publicly pressuring the girl who was clearly not a friend of the show, to having her walk on stage and back into the Big Brother house? What changed her mind? Speculation, I'm afraid - I've no idea. But something did, after all. Just when the country had wiped their memory clean of her (we will wipe the rest clean, too, by August), she's back. Heavens knows what deals went on behind closed doors, but by the time she'd left, I couldn't help wondering if she really made the right move. What was she expecting that to "do" for her? Because all it did, in a hurricane 48 hours, is do nothing but exploit and, quit frankly, misuse her. They got Rima to go back and do their heads in, for a bit of drama. Cheers, Rima, you can fuck off, now.

That's the brunt of it, let's face it. And it's a shame. I must confess that I was always a little torn with Rima. There's no denying that she was the coolest cat in the house. She's switched on in a way the others just aren't. She's more media savvy, for starters - she's used to the exploitation, after all. But even more than that, she's about a hundred times smarter. Maybe not academically; but street smart and emotionally smart, yes. We saw that, in ample amounts, in the brief return visit. And that's actually because of her "individuality". That girl has survived, you've gotta give her that. And she's seen life from an angle these other silly youngsters just haven't come close to experiencing. I could actually have quite enjoyed Rima as a housemate - her removal was, without a doubt, one of the nails on this season's coffin. That's pathetic - it shows how poor the selection is - because if you have such a difference with just one housemate gone, you've really spread your interest poorly. But, nonetheless, it was the case.

My problem was that Rima, in so many ways, was so symbolic of what is so wrong with this bloody show. Regardless of how she probably chose to see it, regardless of how the actual show knew to present it as, Rima was the ultimate shock value. She was a publicity stunt. She was always the Freak™. C'mon, you and I both know that. And that's foul. We should be a little bit beyond using people with physical disabilities as shock entertainment. It felt off to watch this poor girl who had made a life the only way she probably could - by using her disability as a novelty for abled people - standing there, on that Dreamworld stage, having Kyle Sandilands make fun of her height, and this girl just taking it like she'd learnt to. She's an "empowered" girl, and all, don't get me wrong. But she has empowered herself, to a certain extent, within what is quite clearly still a powerless position. That's not really her fault, as such - it's nature's, yes, and it's also largely ours. But I don't think Big Brother is the place to "explore" that, no. It's not exploring it. It's exploiting it, pure and simple.

The other thing worth mentioning is that Rima was not a run-of-the-mill auditionee; she was already familiar with Kyle and Jackie O (she had been a guest on their radio show!) and was all through mainstream media. I didn't really want to hold that against her - I still can't begrudge her - but the reality is still that this goes against everything reality TV (and this show, in particular) was supposed to be about. You shouldn't be able to network your way into Big Brother. It's been happening for years, now, and she's not the first, or even the only one in this season (it was eventually reported that Rory didn't audition, as well as many stories about Barney and Michael). But it's something that happened to this show that isn't good. So, I still would have preferred to have watched Rima in this season, sure; but in other ways, she really shouldn't have been there.

All that aside, however, she was there, and we all know what happened. Rima breaks her leg, Rima leaves, Rima wants to sue, Rima walks in and nobody mentions that iffy bit, and... well.... Rima stirs shit and probably makes a terrible mistake.

That dawned on her, too. I imagine that for all the sensitivity and compassion that has come from Rima's experience of life, so too has she also been hardened in some ways. When you've been through shit like that for your whole life, in the end you learn to douse emotions. And that can make moral confounds "easier". But the girl does have a heart. I think she just overestimated - perhaps, conveniently - the level those 8 housemates operate on. She knew the deal was to fuck with them, but she honestly thought she would somehow transcend this aspect - wrong - and that everyone would weather the impact - wrong. "It's a game", after all - how many times did they conveniently remind us of that, the night she went in (to pre-empt the criticism - they will now use the "it's just a game" thing to wipe their hands clean, as well as nailing Bianca's coffin)? "It's a game," says Sandilands. "It's a game," says Jackie. "It's a game," shrugs Rima. Yes, dear, just keep telling yourself that.

But you can't tell them that, no. They were going to get way rattled by the "game". And do you know why? Is it because they have really lost all sense of reality outside of that experience? To some extent - for some - no doubt. But don't forget that what these manipulations do is strike at the very heart of their self-consciousness. Big Brother is self-consciousness. It's nothing else. Well, it's consciousness of how others perceive you - but that, for these kind of people, is self conscious, because the general Big Brother housemate is someone who values themselves by how others' value them. We give them love, and we affirm that. We reject them, and we render them without worth. Are these people ego-driven? You bet. Of course, they are - what do you think they're doing, there?! They're not bad people, as such, but that is still the reality of it. Brunero, today, in his attempt to claw back credibility (after a bad week for him where he completely underestimated his fanbase's intelligence), actually did something quite honest. He admitted that people were there - himself included (well, one can hope this was the implication, however indirect) - because of an ego that drives them to get their faces on TV. That's what I have always been at odds with, with Big Brother World, and always found kind of... well.... yucky. These people aspire to nothing else than the fame, because they are driven to be "known" and loved, en masse. It's not about what they're "doing" - there's no message, and there's not even any particular talent - they're just, you know, getting fucked with in a house, or they're on a panel show, saying whatever suits, as long as their faces are on our screens. They need us. They can't live without our recognition. They want us to see them. And so, when they realise we have seen them as fools, as someone who has put forward all sorts of things that are actually delusional (such as Bianca's tres intelligent analysis and investigation), that's an incredibly degrading moment. We're not supposed to see that, heavens no. And yeah, they don't like it. Funny, that.

What's always bizarre in the annual Betrayal is that we get a glimpse of just how blind these bunnies are. People always ask me, "Do you think those people who go on the show are really that naive, as to how manipulated and exploited they are?" Yes, they are. They're naive, to various degrees - every now and then, we get someone who is more savvy - but they utterly buy into the illusion. Rima was - hello, housemates - brought back in to perform that mission. She even made it clear to them on arrival - something she wasn't supposed to do (which we know, because Jackie even reacted to it), and something that spoke to me, in regards to how resentful part of her was that she was being brought in as a deliberately destructive illusion (alongside her cheeky moment where she confessed, "I don't actually drink Coke" - a knowing nod to the scripting of that ridiculoius hospital scene). But did any of them recognise that, or direct blame - any thought, at all - to Big Brother? You know, to the fucking television show they went on, where, every year, everyone gets their head done in by a bunch of manipulations and lies?! Behold the esteem these people conceptually hold "Big Brother". Never ask me if they're really that naive, ever again! They are.

Except for Rima. Rima gets it. But part of her, for whatever reason, was perhaps a bit sloppy in presuming what would happen. Perhaps, the spotlight was too bright and she was distracted; perhaps, the money was too good (she certainly didn't do that, after talk of suing, on the ordinary housemate wage) - who knows? But whatever the case, it kinda backfired on her. And what was a sad moment for me, was that look on her face, when she realised. She doesn't particularly care about most of them - I think she is rather good at pretending she likes people - but that compassionate side of her was there. It was there for Travis. And she knows - she knows what a mess that boy is. And those tears of Rima, when she realised - when Travis put his hand to his eyes, like the emotional infant he is - I have never seen a more sincere, knowing look on Big Brother, as the look on Rima's face. Travis, after all, isn't so different to Rima. In terms of awareness, he's the antithesis; but he, too, is a Freak™. He's a damaged boy who was thrown into the circus as entertainment. If there's one housemate I think shouldn't be in that house, from a psychological and emotional perspective, it's Travis. That's why I hope to God he wins, because that boy is damaged goods. And Rima knows that.

But, in the end, she achieved nothing but becoming part of the very thing she should be against with Travis. She was instantly the matriarch of the social outcasts - she singled Travis and Dixie out, straight away, when she first went in there, and the outcasts (as anyone who has survived as one, knows is best) stuck together. But that was then. She came back, and she did as she was told, and she caused another human being - a human being she knows really doesn't deserve it, or can really cope with it - pain. The things we resist, in the spotlight of our desperation, we may become.

And I've empathy for her - it must be a difficult temptation, and who among us can even begin to imagine or know what life as Rima has been like? Hats off to her, anyway, I say. That was Rima. I did find it interesting that she was given no screentime, after her exit (I don't imagine they trust her, particularly), but she'll no doubt be reminded of all the things that won out over her compassion (and her contract, of course), and she'll probably arrive on Big Mouth  saying everything they want her to (perhaps, we could play a drinking game to the amount of times we hear, "It's just a game"?). But still, I think Rima's pretty cool, I must say. But the hard, cold fact of the matter remains. She tripped up, and she lost.

Most people who wander into the spotlights of Big Brother do.